Who raised you? The assumption is that our families shape who we become, but do our friends have more of an influence than we realize?
In his autobiographical tale of being born and raised under apartheid in South Africa, Trevor Noah praises the people in his life who gave him the vision and tools to make his own path. He also paints for us the picture of his mother as a courageous visionary, ahead of her time.
Before diving into this heartwarming story, we discuss family vs. environment, which has the most significant influence in our lives.
This is LIT Society. LET’S GET LIT!
Read a Full Transcript of Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, the Episode, Below
THE FOLLOWING WAS TRANSCRIBED BY A VERY NOT SMART ROBOT (Sorry for all the typos!)
00:00:00 Hi readers car here. This is another very special episode. We first aired born a crime in 2019 for a select group of test listeners and we’re giving that episode to you. Now, you can tell in our conversation that we’re not going through a pandemic. So, please keep that in mind. Also. The audio is going to be a little different. I hope we’ve improved within a year. Let us know what you think. And without further Ado here is born a crime by Trevor Noah from the list Society podcast. Enjoy you guys a young boy struggles to find himself in a world where he was never supposed to exist through it all he’s guided and championed by his Fearless mother a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty violence and abuse that would ultimately threaten both their lives. His name is Trevor. Noah. The book is born a crime and you’re listening to let Society let’s get lit.
00:01:03 You are my readers. This is Paris in this is Alexa here listening to let Society a show about books and drama. And how was your week? I had a good week. I had an opportunity to go out of town for work was my first time in Dallas giving it was the work week Yeah Yeah Yeahs Chicago the weather was good though, and I was happy about that the sun short
00:01:34 Signed everyday sound sunshine and we’ll look it up after the show.
00:01:42 Okay. Well it did Shine in the sky nice. And I think I was really hit the ground. I hate when the sun is shining. So anyway, stop interrupting me why people complain I’m getting to my point. I’m sorry. Listen.
00:02:06 That’s great. I’m glad you had a great time at work in Fallas.
00:02:17 I had a good week to thank you for ask.
00:02:22 Yes, so I thought everyone I’ve ever known in my life this week. And and it was great. There’s a lot of laughing crying crying. It was a solemn occasion, but it was a good time for reflection on my life and how I use it. And I feel very rejuvenated mentally and physically. Yeah, we good so they kind of flows into a theme of the week. But each week we select a thing to discuss inspired by the book we’re reading and the thing this week is family versus environment, which has the most significant influence in our lives and I read a book that reference to study by Judith Rich Harris. She wrote a book called The nurture assumption why children turn out the way they to
00:03:11 And in that book she challenges the idea that the personality of adults is determined chiefly. By the way. We were raised by our parents or buy our parents personalities and said she believes that are primary socializing agents are the children we go to school with the children in our neighborhood the peers who we look to as important. They are shaping who we become as adults. What do you think about that? Do you think our family plays the biggest role in who we become or is it our environment as in the peers and the people in our neighborhood? I find that
00:03:49 I find it difficult to raise one above the other family versus environment and I and I say that because we’re different people as different things.
00:04:01 And it depends on what that environment looks like at home very blanket statements and say that our peers influence us more than our parents. Yeah, and I can’t get behind that as one being 90% and one being 10% You have to give a percentage. What would you say? I won’t go there because so many things contribute to who we be coming in talk more about that.
00:04:26 so external influences versus family, so
00:04:32 You may have the school environment of classmates were children bully you right right. So I guess the bowl and today is different from bullying when I was a kid may be who we maybe we are more sensitive than we were before and more violent. So the bullies are more violent and those being picked on her more since then perhaps perhaps it’s definitely different. And so if we have a positive environment at home, if bullying one in our school with her schoolmates, I don’t necessarily think of us how they treat us if we don’t necessarily think that that is going to play a huge role cuz at some point and I cannot related to people today, but just overall at some point.
00:05:19 That bullying passes. I mean, there’s always a bully in every environment. I think at some point you stop giving that bully the attention that they’re feeding off because even in the workplace, there are bullies when it’s sad it is you really stand out when you’re 30 35 year old bully you do do it when I think about when I was hurt you.
00:05:46 When I think about myself being bullied in school, I don’t feel like I turned turned around and turned into a bully a little bit because she’s not trying to say that parent will according to her she is not saying that parents don’t matter at all. But that the factor that they the factor that they provide in shaping who we ultimately become is let’s say 10% of this cocktail and 50% is going to be our environment the kids at school the kids in our neighborhood really those that we see as on the same level as us which is a scary thought that we’re going to that a child would allow their peers at school who know just as much as them when it comes to life to shape who they become as adult. I just know that that is her argument and somewhere in their jeans to play a factor she also
00:06:46 Atmos for example, she believes that the or she has presented as evidence cases where adopted children. I’m show little reflect only slightly the personality of their adoptive parents, but reflect more the personalities of their biological parents of who they may not have even known there. So to her jeans are a bigger Factor than even the parental influence. Okay. And so when I think about that particular incident or expression add the word that adopt and parents that particular example adopted parents, I remember hearing that when I was in school and they brought that are not just remember having such a visceral reaction to that because I knew someone that have recently adopted a child and I really felt like how could this be? That means there’s no hope that mean does that really mean that I can if she can instill order?
00:07:46 Canis canis do anything in this child and then become better than what their parents there’s a flip side to that because if you’re in the household that is very toxic. You do not have to just be a product of your household. You can look for good influences outside of the household. Right? Right. So everyone has to choose I have to believe that there’s some Choice there that you have to choose what’s going to influence you and who you become even as a child, right? So if I think about and I’m going to take this here if I think about how a part of my life were not a part of my life, my father was and I could go through life hating him because of that, but I had to make a decision not to and so but the impact that his the lack of his presence has the fact that he’s not there that has on me affects me right but I get to decide how that affects me.
00:08:42 Right because I make my decision right and relationships I get to decide that’s why we’re so we can never just say well because my parents were the way that’s why I’m this way or because I’m she really if you tell someone because the kids at as an adult if you tell someone while the kids at school treated me like this, so that’s why I’m like this at 65 years old people are going to look at you like you crazy. Absolutely. When does the agency play a factor in who you become you have the choice? When do you separate spots ability for your own actions? Yeah. So I think a lot of things going to who we become as adults. Yeah, we can take a little bit of what happened in school or or even at work or High School whatever we can take all of that and we can take her home and we can pull it together and then there’s also the experiences that we had that awful shape who we become so, yes, and it’s not like you hit a certain age and that’s you right. There are always changing absolute.
00:09:42 Yeah, so it’s like a little recipe there. We can choose the ingredients that form the final cake, right? It’s a decision.
00:09:55 Contact who is Trevor Noah? Why should we care? Okay, I like that. All right. So Trevor is a 35 year old comedian from South Africa born during apartheid is born to a South African mother and a white European father. He has two younger siblings. He began hosting the Daily Show on Comedy Central back in 29th. Nope, in 2015. I think after two years they extended his contract out to 2022. Okay. I’m here several comedy specials and is the subject of a documentary called you laugh. But it’s true. He released his first book born a crime stories from a style that has his first book ever.
00:10:48 I’m born a crime stories from a South African childhood in November 2016. And may the best sellers list his audiobook was audibles highest rated audiobook of 2016. And that’s how I experienced the book. I did listen to it. And yeah keep saying listen to the only thing I have is better.
00:11:14 This is one of those times. Okay. My bad. Did you see him on Dancing With the Stars? I didn’t know it was hilarious. This is all right. I’m going to like that at the servant cuz I know he
00:11:31 Cuz I know he has he has a bald men and a lot of local stuff in South Africa as he was coming up. So that makes sense getting an eye on them self out there Trevor Noah is a far ahead. Can I put with you is that polyglot multi-lingual an Oscar and a Grammy batting at the egot if you got one of them things but now that means he’s multilingual and then they’re actually doing the movie about his life.
00:12:07 NFS on the buck actually based on born a crime. So yeah. Yeah Lupita here is going to play as Mom. I think that’s the most prominent characters sounds like or one of the most of course in the movies and his mom’s really played such a large part of his life. And then also I don’t know if you know this but he was the computer voice is Black Panther.
00:12:31 Random stuff like I want to get in this movie. What can you get me? Can I help you in that movie and they’re like, well Trevor we cast it out of it.
00:12:40 I want to poke you can be the computer. I think it went that way very hungry. We get there. It it was good. I’m so glad it’s fine. It’s great. Very cool and should be there. If you could give us a brief synopsis with no spoilers, that would be great cut this thing down. Let us know what this book is in a few sentences, okay.
00:13:04 Born a crime is the story of a child. Why are you laughing at me?
00:13:11 Is really Pizza Glasgow born a crime. This is how I speak a crime is a story of a child born to a white Swiss father Swiss German father and a black Coast mother. I think I got it right. I don’t believe you. Stop it.
00:13:35 Cosas mother towards the end of Apartheid in South Africa. We learn stories about his family and friends to Trevor stories. We learn of him as a mischievous young boy. He was terrible his mother as a fearless and religious woman and the stories are filled with humor poverty violence and a mother’s unconditional and unconventional love their the stories. We can also hear Trevor’s discuss the apartheid and the effect it leaves behind so it’s going to be really good. Did you have any first thoughts about it? Yeah. So of course I knew about apartheid but I didn’t know about Trevor Noah. I’ve just been pretending earlier that you buy me I did I miss cuz you don’t weigh more about it, but I do really had no preconceived notions.
00:14:35 Ideas of what I would find and in the first chapter I was all in and I mean from the first sentence I’ll say in the audible book helps that because he’s telling the story and he’s a very good Storyteller. He can adapt different personalities and dialects very easily do it. He really brought his childhood to life for me so you can hear me a price you listen to it, but the languages I bet that was he is very good at listening to the book that has been read about you. What were your first thoughts? Well, I’m a fan and I can’t mention that was introduced to him through you but now he’s posing the cultural but it’s only cuz you show me a clip of something so but I had heard of them before that because he was taking over for for John Stewart and there was a bit of controversy around it. So that was probably the first time I saw me I guess there was some other jokes.
00:15:33 So I’ve never watched anything that he done but earlier and this year. I started following them on social media. And so I washed all of this comedy specials and the documentary and then all that was left was the book so hard AZ funny. Wow. Yeah, he is funny. I think he’s funny any indication. He’s hilarious. You not everybody’s not all the time funny, but I do know that’s right, but I do believe he’s funny. I laugh at his jokes and I last pirate. Yeah, and I laughed that I laughed in this book. Awesome. Well, let’s get it to this deep V plot summary. I know you got some goodies for us, please. Tell us about born a crime by Trevor Noah Okay, so
00:16:25 The book starts with this very important piece. It is the immorality Act of 1927. I just want to read a piece of it please to prohibit illicit carnal intercourse between Europeans and Natives and other acts in Malaysian there too. So Trevor starts the book just kind of talking about how apartheid like the basis of it. Yes to the basis of it or not it apart hate and he talks about the Divide between the tribes which is very interesting to learn. Anyway, it boils down to these two dominant groups that are close to the Zulu group is the Warriors and the Cosa group, you know, there’s a this is like the language that clicks and so we are not
00:17:25 Please forgive us. If you do India speak this language. We do not know how to pronounce it correctly and I listen to it. So I’ve heard it like I have the time and I’m not even going to try the way it’s pronounced are really anyway. I’m going to stop trying anyway.
00:17:45 The coastal group is the thinking group and I mean he might be biased in that sense. Right because his mother is of that tribe and he identifies with that tribe, right? But then also I think we’ve always been told that on the Zulus were warriors. That’s true. I mean, do you remember the movie? What movie was Shaka Zulu? You know, I’ve never seen okay anyway, so he talks about Mandela being I think it was about six years old when Mandela was released when Mandela was released. So he starts his story telling about his mom or his family and the women in his family and how religious they are. His mom is super religious. I’m his grandmother is religious. She’s religious, but she also she mixes the Christian with the native Faith native Faith. Yes.
00:18:45 Then for his mom, she was just like flat-out Christian. She believed in Jesus. She went to church three times in one day and one day and let me just check my notes here. She went to three churches and integrated megachurch.
00:19:05 All right. I’ll let you continue.
00:19:10 The pastor of that church competed to be mr. Universe and lie, if you remember who was Schwarzenegger, so he thought this ain’t working. I’m going to become a pastor and a pastor he became but at that church, they met Jesus cool images of cool and then the neverland mix church and then the next church was a white church, and he said that’s where they were first list on interpreting passages from the Bible. I think he also said they had the jumbotrons when I remember about why church is that he was separated with the kids and they basically play games all day and it was Bible quizzes and it was easy. Yeah. It was all he knew was the Bible, and then after that was the black church, right?
00:20:10 It was an informal outdoor black church whose kernaghan spent hours praying for Jesus to alleviate their suffering, right?
00:20:22 Ceaser black church with rev. Yeah, he said that was hard because it was the longest and I think he said that was a long distance that they would beat you up to get the spirits out and it depends when come out they would beat you harder. So they better come out the first time if you know, what’s good for you. It sounds like it was pretty rough. So they went to church every week every Sunday regardless.
00:20:49 They went to church when their mom when is Mom’s car broke down it was him and his little brother Andrew and the car was a second-hand car used car if you will and it was just never very reliable like a lemon and so he has some issues with this trying to get this car and then one day he’s he I think he attributed everything that happened bad in this life to use, used car. So he’s trying to convince his mom. This car won’t start maybe today at the day for church.
00:21:22 It’s the devil. She said about the stalled car. The devil doesn’t want us to go to church. That’s why we go to catch me buses.
00:21:30 When am I found myself up against my mother’s faith-based obstinacy. I would try as respectfully as possible to counter with an opposing point of view. I said the Lord knows that today we should go to church which is why he made sure the car wouldn’t start so that we stay at home as a family and take a day of rest because even Lord arrested if the devil talking Trevor because Jesus is in control and if Jesus is in control, and we pray to Jesus he would let the cost but he hasn’t there sometimes Jesus puts obstacles in your way to see if you overcome them like Jobe. This could be a test. Yes, Mom, but the test could be to see if we willing to accept what has happened and stay at home and Praise Jesus for his wisdom.
00:22:27 No, that’s the devil talking now go change your clothes.
00:22:34 Is a phrase with many shades of meaning it says don’t undermine me don’t underestimate me and just try me mom was no joke you Trevor. I’m everyone give it up for a surprise guest. Thank you Trevor.
00:22:58 But the thing about that him and his mom were very close and you can tell the way she talked to him. Like he was an adult right and I think they talk about that later on so much as this but kind of reminds the mother reminds me of myself as a mother. So it was it was just very interesting to read I was really touched but they had a really close relationship. They were can they consider himself a team or he considered was it him or both of no, none of them? Even when she gave him a spanking on which he got a lot of cuz he was the worst but explain why and there was no hurt feelings. I didn’t who did something bad and he would say I did. Okay now it’s time to watch TV. I was very cute and very cute. But yeah, so one of the things they talk about early on in the book is the difference between Zulu women and
00:23:55 Yeah, cuz my last trimester I’m going to get it and call some women and Coastal women were supposed to be.
00:24:06 Whores if you will is it I think that’s okay. Let’s start that over and say promiscuous on 3B stereotype. Yeah. It was The Stereotype that all negative thing and back it says disgusting women. Okay, and so so he’d he tells the story of a time when the car broke down and as we heard from the reading they go to church anyway, they go to church anyway, and it’s I think I actually drove to church but the car broke down by the rats on the road. I believe I think it is on the road the car broke down on the road. So they ended up having to hitch a ride. That’s right, right. So they hitch a ride for the plan was to take a minibus which is like this Gypsy Cab service that the people make because the municipality is not going to do anything for the black people is right, so they make their own.
00:25:06 System of Transportation but it was taking forever for the minibus to come so they hitchhike so they hit and so a woman is more likely to be picked up. If she doesn’t have children with her know. She had Trevor hide in the bushes in the bushes in the bushes with his brother and then when a car pulled up she said come on and they have dinner, and we can hear the story about what happened. Yeah, because he’s the driver is driving along the route that belongs to basically a rival tribe and sew a mini bus pulls up cut him off and out jump men with weapons, right and it looks like they might even kill him but his mother Trevor’s mother goat a we wanted a minibus anyway, right leave him alone and will ride with you so she gets in and the guy starts cold to her about riding with a man alone with a man red and she doesn’t suffer fools so she’s basically like
00:26:06 Hi mind your business. Okay, and then he starts to become more aggressive with her and it looks like he’s not going to let her out of the car even with her children.
00:26:21 My mother sat next to me holding baby Andrew, she looked out the window at the passing Road and then leaned over to me and whispered Trevor when he slows down at the next intersection. I’m going to open the door and we’re going to jump.
00:26:37 I didn’t hear a word of what she was saying because by that point I’d completely nodded off.
00:26:46 It feels like a dream to be able to paint. It smacked hard on the pavement my motherland right beside me and we tumble tumble and I was wide awake now. I went from Hoffa sleep to what the hell eventually I came to a stop and pulled myself up completely disoriented. I looked around and saw my mother already on her feet. She turned and looked at me and screamed so I ran and she ran and nobody ran like me and my mom.
00:27:24 I turned it on truck. What was that?
00:27:31 You never told me that you just threw me out of the car. I did tell you why didn’t you jump jump I was asleep. So I should have left you there for at least they would have woken me up before they killed me. I was too confused into angry about getting thrown out of the car to realize what has happened. My mother have saved my life. When is things I remember is that he was a good runner? Yes him and his mom. He won an award in school for being the best runner in that was cuz he was always running from his mom and his mom when the parents version. Yeah. My favorite one of my favorite Parts is as he got older and fast, she got a more creative and I do catch him and so
00:28:31 The Iran Hershey’s cream stop sending all the strangers with jump on him. Yeah. Yeah, that’s very funny. But then he was like nah.
00:28:42 Play try to stop by. So we go in a little further into the story and if they talk a little bit about the mom and the dad, I’m just very briefly. Mom had come gone to the big city of big city as a harness burger and it’s a live which was not normal cuz women usually worked in the factory and she decided to go to school and do some learn how to tie a typing classes. So she did the secretarial job. She would never have under apartheid. So I tore apart I even fell down her mine was all already not confined to use up those boundaries Rideshare even she actually refused to go. She she goes into the city. She met Robert his dad through this Arrangement. He live down the hall and he live down the hall for them in and after sometime after being friends for a while. They she wanted to have a child.
00:29:42 I have it with you and he said no for a long time. And then whether he said yes, and then one day he said yes, they had a child. She goes to the hospital. And what did this baby is very light. Yeah. Yeah, he’s from
00:29:58 Name some other country in Africa whether lightish a question and so the dad’s name is not on the birth certificate that documentation is not when she propositioned the father she told him you don’t have to be in this child’s life. I want something to love but when she came back from the hospital he came and asked for his son. Yep. He said we’re going to be so we learn Trevor be kind of grew up in this area hiding course cuz they could never be together Trevor couldn’t be with him where they tried at first. Like they all went to the park together and she acted like the maze. Yep, but then he started running after Robert calling him. Dad and Robert ran right heartbreaking that is heartbreaking. But we also learned that I’m Trevor grew up with his great-grandmother and her name was Coco and but she was blind.
00:30:57 So it seems like her mind was very sharp. She was anxious. She was a million years old so that her body was useless to her, but her brain was sharp, so she couldn’t see what she could hear a very well. Yeah, and he said he was about 5 and he said his grandmother and Coco which is the great my great-grandmother what had these long conversations but to him she wasn’t real person wasn’t a real person in your family like that where you they were just like a permanent structure in the home, but you didn’t really see them as real.
00:31:35 Cuz they didn’t move about with everyone else know. I can’t think of our grandparents in the South we would visit and I remember them being so old that it seemed like they weren’t real. Oh, wow. They didn’t seem real that like, would it look like what? Yeah. Wow, so no, I didn’t have that experience, but I don’t know what I’m saying is very late. I’m tired.
00:32:06 I did though. So one time he didn’t go to church. I think it was supposed to be sick. And so he was right. Thanks, though. He didn’t go to church with his mom. So he was home and Coco was in the room when he was in the kids out of state in the kitchen all the time. So yeah, they will wake her up every day just to put in front of the oven yet her warning cuz you don’t leave her there all day and then take her back to bed at night and he had to go to the bathroom. But he had forgot about Coco and the bathroom for them. Can you explain that set up the bathroom is not in the house. It’s outside until one day come, you know, yeah and and not pretty is not pretty cuz he said it was he didn’t want to go outside and be back flies eggs. 5mm phobia was that flies were going to fly inside of his
00:33:02 When he went to the bathroom, but he was also a young boy. He was like 5, is that right? Yeah, he was 5 years old when this episode occurred, right? So it looks ever so he laid out some newspaper in the kitchen and decided I just like the dogs. I’m going to go to the bathroom in the kitchen on the floor cuz he’s home alone. And he’s a terrible child. He’s a terrible child and he forgot his grandma was in the kitchen.
00:33:36 Then the softest little boy turtle newspaper Strokes held my breath and weight chart.
00:33:57 Kept quiet waiters then started again. Is that you?
00:34:07 Francis hello. I know she’s not the whole family know what’s happening. It was like a game like I was trying to hide and a blind woman was trying to find me using Sonar every time she called out it would be complete silence wait for her to settle back in her chair, and then I’ll start up again.
00:34:40 Finally after what feels like forever. I finished took the newspaper of thing and I slowly hold it over again. I post waited and I folded it over some more walked over to the rubbish can place my stomach at the bottom and change it and covered it with the rest of the trash.
00:35:06 mission accomplished
00:35:10 and I would later the rain has stopped. My grandmother came home the second. She walked in Coco called out to her friends. Thank God you’re here. There’s something in the house.
00:35:23 What is it? I don’t know it and there was this man.
00:35:29 I grant started sniffing PA did something die. It’s definitely in the house. They went back and forth about our concern and then as it was getting dark, my mother came home from work the second she walked in my grandpa. What do you mean Uncle told her the story The Sounds the smells then my mom with a keen sense of smell started going around the kitchen whippin. Yes, I can smell it. I can find it. I can find it. She went to the rubbish bin out the rubbish pulled out the folded newspaper underneath and opened it up.
00:36:19 Yeah, so it was five and he was cutting up like this grandmother great-grandmother was calling out to him and he just kept ignoring her. He is a naughty boy. He’s a naughty boy. So we learn a little bit about his mom and her her life experience and how she really loved her. Dad maybe didn’t get along so well with her mom, but she wanted to go with her dad and her dad ends up sending them away to her her his sister what he was bipolar right here on the bipolar on a farm where she just worked work work work like a slave so she kind of tells the story about she never tells her. Sorry but there were some Expressions that she shared with him. So yeah, she ran away from that environment because it was just like being a maid and she thought will I Want to Be Free so she chose a different
00:37:24 My mother never sat me down and told me the whole story of her life insurance guy. She give me little thirst random details stories of having to keep her wits about her to avoid getting raped by a strange man in the village. She tell me these things and I’ll be like lady really you do not know what kind of stories to take for granted how we got to where we were but none of it ever came from a place of self-pity then from your past and be better because of your past she would say, but don’t cry about your past life is full of pain let the paint shop in you, but don’t hold on to it. Don’t be bitter.
00:38:09 And she never was the deprivations of her youth the betrayals on her parents. She never complains about any of it.
00:38:18 Just as she left the park Co she was determined not to repeat since my childhood would be no resemblance to her as she started with my name the children always have a meaning and that meaning has a way of becoming self-aware feeling you have my cousin the fixer. That’s who he is whenever I got into trouble. He was the one trying to help fix it. He was always a good kid doing chores helping around the house. You have my uncle the unplanned pregnancy. He who popped out of nowhere and that’s all he’s done his whole life disappear and reappear you go up on a drinking binge and then pop back up. I don’t know where a week later.
00:39:04 Then you have my mother Patricia. Nombuyiselo. Noah, that’s what she does. She gives and gives and gives you didn’t even as a girl in the weight room playing in the streets. She would find toddlers three and four-year-olds running around unsupervised all day long that fathers were gone and their mothers were drunks. My mom was only six or seven herself used to round up the abandoned kids in form a troop and take them around to the shebeens out and take the bubbles to where you could turn them in for deposits buy seafood in the shrubs and feed the kids. She was a child taking care of children.
00:39:52 When was time to pick my name? She chose Trevor a name with no meaning whatsoever in South Africa. No precedent in my family. It’s not even a Biblical name. It’s just a name. My mother wanted her child beholden to no fakes. She wanted me to be free to go anywhere do anything be anyone I really like that. All right, because it just shows how nontraditional his mom was in the way she thought about how she was going to rear her child while she was going to expose them to and she wasn’t going to allow him to just be shaped by his environment right or his just as name. That was a really interesting piece. But then you really learn about their relation step in this bucket. It’s really endearing to hear the stories that make when they start arguing and letters cuz she’s done talking to him yet professional.
00:40:52 If he has a robado, but I really enjoyed their relationship. There was an incident in the end the book where he talks about going to the store with his mom and he’s asking for it keep asking and asking and asking for I think it was a candy apple or something. Yeah, and he just literally would not stop asking for this apple. And so she let them get to let them get it.
00:41:23 Can I have a toffee Apple?
00:41:25 Can I have a toffee Apple please? Can I have a toffee Apple please? Can I have a toffee Apple?
00:41:33 Finally once we get our groceries and my mom was heading to the front to pay that succeeded in wearing her down. She said I ran the Apple came back and put it on the counter at checkouts. I said the cashier looked at me skeptically wake your turn boy. I’m still helping this lady know I said, she’s buying it for me. My mother turn to me who’s buying it for you. You’re buying it for me. No know why doesn’t your mother buy it for you what my mother you are my mother. I’m your mother know. I’m Not Your Mother quiz your mother.
00:42:17 I was so confused. You are my mother because she looked at her look back at me. Look at her again. She Shrugged like I have no idea what that just talking about. She looked at me like she’d never seen me before in her life. Are you lost little boy? Who is your mother? Where is your mother going to let my mother? She’s my mother what she called be your mother boy. She’s black country. See my mom took her head pretty little colored boy lost his mother. What a shame I panicked was I crazy is she not my mother. I started bawling your my mother or my mother. She’s my mother. She’s my mother.
00:43:07 She Shrugged again. So sad. I hope he finds his mother the cashier nodded. She paid him took out groceries and walked out of the shop.
00:43:21 Yes, so she was not above damn game. No, she was not cuz he was always trying to outsmart her so she had to outsmart him the first she really did that. He would love so confused. I mean this isn’t a loophole section of the book. I don’t know why but his mom had a friend who lives in the the man lived in a garage. Yeah back of a white family’s home. Yeah. I don’t know if it was.
00:43:54 In the way families home. There was an aide and Trevor used to play while his mom was with the guy who lived in the garage. I’m hanging out then Trevor will play with the maid sign and one day cuz Trevor was obsessed with fire. He had matches and a magnifying glass bad. He was very back of the house or our shed. I sat in the back. Yeah the shed in the band. They went and played it did something else and forgot about it and it caught fire and burned the house down is why people house dies a white family’s home and Trevor in that section with I didn’t feel bad about it at all. I still don’t things happened they had inserted.
00:44:42 But I think of my mom second that she didn’t feel bad about it.
00:44:52 I believe I read that he said when Uncle stop calling him Trevor called him Terror, he was a really a bad. It was really bad. He was really bad. I thought he did. We really learn a little bit about his father but nothing at all because his father wasn’t very
00:45:11 he didn’t really share a lot. He lived a very private life. Yeah, but his father at we learned that his father owned a restaurant right under his father right in the restaurant cuz he didn’t really believe in apartheid. So let’s hear. Okay Trevor. Can you tell us more about your father-in-law? Okay.
00:45:43 Because racism never made sense to my father. He never subscribed to any of the rules of apartheid in the early eighties before I was born he opened one of the first integrated restaurants in Johannesburg Steakhouse. He applied for a special license that allows businesses to serve both black and white patrons these licenses existed because hotels and restaurants needed them to serve black Travelers and diplomats from other countries. Who in Serie 1 subject to the same restrictions as black South Africans African culture frequent those hotels and restaurants.
00:46:22 My dad’s restaurant was an instant booming success black people came because they were few upscale establishment where they could eat and they wanted to come and sit in a nice restaurant and see what that was. Like white people came because they wanted to see what it was like to sit with black people to white people would sit and watch the black people eat and the black people with sit and eat and watch the white people watching the meat of being together overwhelmed the animosity keeping people of Hearts the place. Have a great five.
00:46:56 The restaurant closed only because a few people in the neighborhood took it upon themselves to complain they filed petitions and the government started looking for ways to shut my dad down at first the inspectors and try to get him on San Dimas and health code violations candy. They have never heard of the Swiss that’s failed dismally, they decided to go off to him by imposing additional an arbitrary restrictions.
00:47:23 Since you got the license, you can keep the restaurant open they said but you’ll need to have sipper toilets for every racial category. You’ll need white toilets black toilets college and Indian toilets restaurant and only serve whites.
00:47:47 He closed the restaurant.
00:47:50 Let’s take a quick break.
00:47:59 Call Trevor.
00:48:02 When he was in school in his school years like middle school if you oh, yeah and thinking that that time. He made friends because he could speak so many languages and he got those languages early on from his family in the neighborhood kids that kind of thing so he didn’t fit in with any group, but he fit in because he could speak the languages they would they could have stepped right? And so he identifies as a black man. Yeah, if it if there was a good piece fit in most with it was the black kid who he has a expression about being an inside Outsider. Yeah. But anyway because the color kids thought that he thought he was better than them because he acted black which was weird because on social scale colored was higher than black Right Out of Africa that time and then the white kids of course didn’t accept him because he was obviously not why try to Black yasou on the black kids accepted him the most
00:49:02 Then he identified with the Black Culture being raised in a black African household. So that felt more natural for him to adult butt in school. He’s at fast runner so he can get to the the calf Cafe if you want ya and school faster than everybody so he takes orders. So he is a guy that you can give some extra money too, and he’ll go and get your order before everybody else people take advantage of that Trevor took advantage of that. He made money off of that like his first hustle. Yep, and then he also sold CDs CDs in the city. So well, then he just started selling everything after school. He would do these deals where perhaps a crackhead with selling a vcr and some fun on the car and I couldn’t afford to buy a day by day but could afford in a week so they would loan money to The Working Man to buy these crackhead goods and then one day a man.
00:50:02 Has been stealing a good that the airport to sell to travel sells them a camera and he sees on at the photos of the family that owned it originally and he feels like crap. Yeah, but it doesn’t sound like he’s stopped hustling all he doesn’t but he did he hate himself for it. I think he for the first time I did think about it at that point what he was doing. He that was the first time that he really got to think so bad. He didn’t act on those thoughts because he in the middle of a cell phone scam got pulled over by the cops for stealing his dad’s step dad’s car and got put in prison and gets put in prison. Yeah. That was interesting. Yes. It stands out to me is huge is huge because he goes to jail and he’s determined cuz at this point he’s probably 19 maybe and he’s away from and he doesn’t live with his mom. So he decides he is not going to tell his mom.
00:51:02 He just don’t work with his cousin and his cousin had gone off to school but he was going to work with his cousin is cousin to get to borrow some money from his dad and I’ll get him out on bail or get him a lawyer. I thought it wasn’t a lawyer with a range right because this one was a little deep and so he’s waiting for his opportunity to go before the judge right when you go before the judge goes into this other room where all the hardened criminals are. I’m so sorry, but Trevor is at this point relaxing his hair and braiding it having it braided because girls like that but when he’s in prison, it’s all up in a ponytail so his hair and semi straight in a ponytail and he’s a pretty man. And as soon as he walks into this holding cell right before court. Yes, but what’s going to be a good night tonight? That’s the prettiest man. I ever seen and Trevor is like terrified. He goes into this holding cell. This is right. It sounds like it’s right by
00:52:02 Yeah, it is right before you go up. There was a way to keep them housed in and what happens if you go in there and you can see all the divisions are the grace you got it. Yeah, you see the color. Do you see the why do you see black the black the various groups are the black and he has to decide where he sits and he decided to go with the wife because the color people were notorious Killers. Yeah there he likened it to the cartel in Mexico. They can’t beat me up right? You said that wasn’t safest bet and the man told him whatever you do. Don’t come back down here. So that’s the thing the judge when you go out the judge, usually either let you out on bail or sends you back. But if you get sent back, you’re no longer in jail, you’re in prison and your life will never be the same. Yeah, and that the way he described that you guys got to read it cuz it it’s it’s really intense. So he gets up there and says the judge says I’m doing
00:53:02 Well, he thought the judge that how you doing. How you doing?
00:53:08 That’s really good. He says what I didn’t ask how you’re doing. What’s your name?
00:53:17 Yeah, yeah, so he explains it. Well, it was already set up for him. So he was released. He was released from yet. He never he was never in prison. He was right. He was released from jail. And so he was so happy to have been released that he ends up going to his cousin pick some up take the boxes house changes clothes. He’s there at his cousin’s house. And then he goes to his mom’s house the next day frontin like everything’s good. I ain’t seen you in a while, but I’m good. How you doing? His mom looks at him and it’s just a broken-hearted disappointed way and she said but do you think I’m crazy she’s here so she really gives it to him and she said the reason I ride you so hard and give you so much is because I love you everything I have ever done. I’ve done from a place of love. If I don’t punish you the world will punish you even worse the world doesn’t love you. It’s a police get you the
00:54:17 Please don’t love you when I beat you I’m trying to save you and maybe you can try like hell you cancel that was deep. So we took kind of wrap it up a little bit more about the mom and her relationship with the stepfather. He was abusive over the course of years, but they were so different radek and was so sporadic when he was good. He was very good. Yep. And when he was bad when he drunk he was a different person. Yeah, he would beat her badly. But only like every year or once every three years to the point where you feel like maybe he’ll never do it again. And then he makes up for all that lost time. Right and she was going to the police and they would never do anything. It was a little boys club and they will get a pat on the back and it’s all eventually she left him. Right right and remarries and remarries is there she leaves him and remarries and she’s going on about her life and then one day he comes to
00:55:17 House on church Sunday and it sounds like the new husband and his entire family was join a dream. So when they got back from their long-term, hday her ex-husband who is the father of Trevor Noah’s to youngest sibling standing in the driveway and he just start shooting everybody. Yeah. The last part of that book came at me very fast. Did it really weather thing for me was a very serious very quickly. It was in the documentary. Oh, wow. I had already known about it and he gets to call during the documentary. Oh my goodness. Yes. So that was like really crazy really was wow. So is Mom gets shot? Well, there is a point where Abel who’s the ex-husband sand over her and is trying to shoot her point-blank and the Gun Won’t fire three, maybe four times more times until she grabs her youngest jumps in the car. And then the youngest says
00:56:17 Windshield just went red because he shot her from the back windshield through her neck. So do you want to talk about that and then it comes through her nose, right and there’s a hole in her face yet. And so Trevor gets a call from his little brother from the middle son. And I think he’s 9 years old at this point cuz the baby boys or he is right behind and so he caused a mini says hey, how you doing? What you doing? Are you busy? Are you busy busy moms been shot and then it pours Trevor kind of reacts to that and I’m going to the hospital and he sees his mom and all he sees is all this blood so and a hole in her face in the hole in her face. So it’s just that’s like Ray distressing but she’s in the hospital and it turns out she doesn’t have any insurance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so they come out and I like well, we can’t really help her weenie.
00:57:17 To transport her somewhere else because they don’t treat her there and he’s like, no I can’t I don’t treat my mom and he gives them a credit card don’t know so you don’t understand. It’s very expensive. He’s like no no go on there. Now, you don’t understand and then he thinks about it like
00:57:43 you could spend the rest of your life pay this amount back and he thought about things that his mom had told him and said mom probably wouldn’t want right now.
00:57:52 That’s real. That’s what he said. Mom. Probably wouldn’t want to see didn’t make it. You still do that. And you still do that. I’d be playing at black tax for ever hear that but then he finally decided to go on chest worth it and his mama, of course if I saw the bullet that passed through the back of her head narrowly missed her brain and any vital arteries or essential parts of basa. It took off a piece of her knows. He’s just a little piece of her nap and she survived that and she said Jesus is my insurance. Yeah, that didn’t pay the bill. I know that but maybe she’s safe your mind. This is why you’re my Jesus. Jesus blessed me with a son who’s sorry and no guy on TV setting on a TV at the airport said to me that’s a great book is truly a love story to his mom. Yeah. I feel that that’s
00:58:52 Represent a while and then creepy way.
00:58:57 Sore back so hairy. What is the final verdict? I love this book. I highly recommended. I felt like it left me feeling very grateful to the positive influences in my life just isn’t Trevor is extremely grateful for his mother and four are the ones who really helped him see a world outside of his immediate neighborhood or I’m sector. So yeah, I love the book. What about you what your final verdict would you recommend it? I would I really enjoyed it. And I really love the strength of the mom. Yeah and her kind of thinking outside of the box as it relates to ruin her child in this is hateful environment. Ha 74. Yeah. Yeah and how she tried to get him out of that thang Binh. Yep, think bigger. So I really like it and I would really recommend it to definitely recommend it to somebody else to read so very cool. Alright, so that’s it for this episode of lit Society.
00:59:57 will be back next week with
01:00:00 my sister the serial killer I take full responsibility for this book. I haven’t read it Gavin in four or five Air Force this year and it is of course all over all of the national bestseller author and you already have yours I get it.
01:00:22 Bring some books back from the library.
01:00:26 So we’ll see you guys next week. You can catch let Society. Well, first of all excited when I see you by Electric Honore and Cara Herrera listen to this podcast on Apple podcasts Spotify and all major podcast providers starting in 2020. If you’re listening to this episode now, it’s probably because we sent you a link privately and you’re seeing if you love the show, please share that with anyone, you know, personally who you think will also love it.
01:00:57 until next time